Mexico 4.1- Grand Palladium Resorts

The worst moment during our Mexico trip was hitting a shallow ledge jumping for a football in the pool. That re-injured my partially torn ACL.

There was one benefit; arriving at the airport in a wheelchair gets you VIP service. I cut every line and blew through the Mexican airport so quickly Jody Lea said, “Man, it would have been nice to wait in line for a change. Said nobody ever.”

Laugh.

Tequila
My Ride Home

Let’s forget about the bad and talk about the title of the blog.  I can’t tell the story as well as my friend Lara because my brain is still trying to figure out what on earth happened in the Grand Palladium Resort between January 4th, and January 11th.

I tell you one thing that happened…

Tequila Chaser
Little Chaser

We travelled with a two year old and I’ve never seen a kid so happy. He was so happy that when daddy feel asleep the little guy pulled open daddy’s eyelids and said, “Daddy?”

I would have toe punted him…

We had separate suites both equipped with a jacuzzi tub in the middle of the room. On the first night I was filling the tub with me in it when Jody Lea hit the jets. I guess the water was a little shallow because the ceiling was dripping, the mirror was dripping, and I was turned on.

The next morning was all about “adjusting.” You know how it is…. you’re excited BUT you remember the time your friend suffered severe sunburn on day one, or the time a bug crawled up your penis on day four. You don’t want to be that guy. Then you have your first drink of Tequila and what happens???

Do I have to spell it out??

Jody Lea and I have one rule. Stick with your travel buddy.

Photobomb
Photobomb

 

I believe it’s important to have a buddy when you drink in a strange country.

My buddy ripped her clothes off in the lobby, kissed old man Ottawa’s daughter, and downed 30 different shots in two hours, but we stick together. I mean, I did come home in a wheelchair. #Travelbuddiesforlife.

Foam Pits
Lara & I Hit The Foam Pits & Showed Those Kids How To Dance

We went with another amazing couple, and a baby. That’s the story I was getting to… Lara was making reservations at a restaurant and the host said, “How many?”

Lara said, “Four, or five I guess.”

The host said, “Ahhh, baby, four point one!”

The next day Lara said, “let’s call this trip ‘Mexico 4.1.'”

Now if there is one thing I know.

Two year olds are poor, helpless, little creatures. We got to go right back to basic english.

  • MoMMa
  • CHEEEEEEEEEESSEEE
  • High Five.

P.S. The baby taught me something about high five.

Don’t give it away so easily.

I was ramming my mitts into strangers faces yelling “High five.” Some people jumped and three people said no.

Nobody said no to the baby.

WHY??

The baby pulled his hand back when the strange monster lunged toward him. That brought people right close. Suddenly ten people were standing around trying to high five the baby. Of course not everyone wants to draw a crowd but I do.

Our circle went from 4.1 to 100… yet I only scored one number.

That’s right

Donna, and Rossario. Our relationship started like many, I stuck my hand in her face and we started chatting. We had a couple laughs, I hooked his cellphone to WI-FI, and later we chatted at the sports bar while watching the Green Bay Packers smoke the NY Giants.

It wasn’t long before Rossario gave me up for Mike and Lara. Then Donna called me her boyfriend and later she gave me her number… what’s uuuuuuuup.

I may have not mentioned they have grandkids my age.

Christmas Reindeer
I Don’t Think Those Deer Are Moving Babes

 

Travelling with Mike was like travelling with my dad.

They both have broad shoulders, abs, and are responsible.

Like Father Like Son
Like Father Like Son?

One day the waves were big  and Mike said, “Have you ever body surfed?”

“No,” I replied. Thinking, please don’t ask me to join you.

I grew up avoiding water because water made my ears sick, but

Strange happenings…

I’d been studying hypnosis for two years before two years ago when I found myself on a white water rafting trip with a stag party. I can still hear the guide saying, “It’s early in the year for swimming… but if you guys want to flip this raft for the stag, the next set of rapids are the ones to do it on.”

I shit in my pants. The water was freezing, I had no ear plugs, and there was no way I could hold my fingers in my ears down a raging river.

Peer Pressure

I HAD to jump. When I jumped the water was so cold it made my heart stop, but when my head came above water the weirdest thing happened… my ears cleared.

We stag partied for two days and I never got an ear infection, I didn’t get sick, and my ears weren’t plugged at all. I haven’t wore earplugs since. My ears always clear.

Peer Pressure

Paradise
Think Break

Mike was “body surfing” waves for a good 200 feet, often ending up beached on the beach. Mike would say, “You have to do this, and this.” And I would dive on command but my belly dragged on the bottom while Mike rode that wave like a boat.

HOWEVER

Mr. Responsible wouldn’t do Tequila shots. No way. No, no, and no thanks.

Peer Pressure

We spent one afternoon at The Grand Palladiums oceanside, salt water pool. Upon arrival I noticed four, or five babes getting sexy at the poolside bar. I sauntered over with my belly out and said, “Who wants to do shots???”

Everybody turned me down except for one babe. I turned to a fellow approaching on my right and said, “You look like a fella who can handle a shot?”

He said, “Yeah!”

I said, “Where you from?”

“Alberta.”

“That’s embarrassing!” And the three of use jonesed Mike, Lara, All 5 beauties, Jody Lea, Michigan, Rocky, and Minnesota and Michigan to shoot Tequila together. Within an hour the entire poolside was shooting Tequila together and it turned out those five beauties brought 70 people to the party. It was a destination wedding. That’s a lot of people at a destination wedding, and the weren’t network marketers— they were just friends who showed up at a destination wedding.

 

Lizard
These Guys Are Faster Then They Look

NOT Peer Pressure

The point of this story is that I peer pressured my little crew into doing 1, 2, 10 shots of tequila, and I’ve never seen Mike so chatty!!! It was perfect, the sun was shining, everything was green and blue, the baby was sleeping in the cabana– how adorable. Little Chase, or Chaser, made more friends then I did. Imagine having to compete with a two year old… embarrassing. We did back flops into the pool, took selfies, and burned a historically happy memory into our brains.

In the end, Mexico 4.1 left me wounded, shaky, and discombobulated. BUT happy, go Grand Palladium.

 

Stay Classy,

Devin Bisanz

Something you probably don't know about me. I was wheeling my street bike down the highway when I flipped over backwards. My street bike slid under an oncoming semi-truck, and I narrowly escaped death.

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