My lovely lady, Jody Lea, wanted to get away for labor day but all the online deals were booked. We own a timeshare with access to over 20 resorts and none were available. Jody Lea was steaming mad so I said something smart as she text her friend James who replied, “Let’s go sailing!”
The obvious answer was YES.
James also managed to secure the two best rooms in the Wigwam Inn, at the north end of the Indian Arm, just north of Vancouver. Wigwam is now an outpost for the Vancouver Yacht Club, but it was once a brothel, a hideaway for Al Capone, and the Ghost of Martha still lives in room 209.
Martha was an escort, one day Martha set out to walk the dog and she never returned. Her ghost did, and when I asked the caretaker about Martha, the caretaker lit up, “Just the other day,” said the caretaker. “I was about to vacuum the hallway and something yelled my name at the end of the hall. I got goosebumps, turned on the vacuum immediately and pretended it didn’t happen.”
The look in the caretakers eyes told me to drink heavily.
Drinking around the rich people of Wigwam was quite pleasurable. I was invited on Nick’s yacht for a hotdog. I introduced myself to Mayor Phil, and the millionaires wife Lisa Lea. A Seal entertained us from the sea. Unfortunately I didn’t get the Seals name, heck of a fun creature though.
Sailboats Need Wind.
Sailing the Indian Arm was amazing with the exception of no wind. Luckily our vessel, Coho, was equipped with an 18 horsepower diesel engine. Coho motored us a good eight miles on less then two gallons of gas. That’s reasonable considering it cost over $2,000 to fill most of the yachts on the doc.
At least everybody was drinking beer or wine.
One of the wealthier members smoked a little Ganja. I regretted knowing him while hugging the porcelain throne in room 209. That’s when Martha came to me, and she shone her bright light down on me like an angel. Healing took place, nope, heaving. It was a 20 minute nightmare- all Martha’s fault.
Not The Picture Type
We brought our GoPro camera but didn’t use it. I know we could have made a cool sail video but neither Jodes or myself update our social media. We should, after all, I am an “Internet marketer.”
Contrary to popular belief you don’t need social media to work on the internet; you need to be savvy. I’m so savvy that Google Adwords shut down my ad campaign for “misleading content.” Google sent me a message the morning we were leaving and that problem became a topic for many jokes. I’ll blog about that subject when it get’s cleared up.
Today we are discussing our sail up the Indian Arm. I’ve never seen so many dead Jellyfish in my life. Some Jelly Fish were about two feet in Diameter. I probed James about the jelly graveyard and he suggested that it may have something to do with the fresh water from the Indian River. Google didn’t give me any answers at a glance so if you know the real answer then please let me know.
Getting Back To Real
My hangover didn’t stop our boat from leaving Wigwam although I wish it had. We didn’t get a chance to go paddle boarding or kayaking. We did get to have some fun and perhaps James and Sarah will invite us back again!
Have a great and wonderful day.